Golf chick

Golf chick

Golf chick

Diora Baird

Some partners are hot

Woman in a leather dress

Did you know that when a woman wears a leather dress,

a man’s heart beats quicker,

his throat gets dry,

he gets weak in the knees

and he begins to think irrationally?

Ever wonder why?

It’s because she smells like a new golf bag!

Man sees beautiful woman

Harry sliced his tee shot way off into a field beside the golf course. Finally he finds the ball nestled in amongst some buttercups. On his back swing he hears a voice, "Please don't hurt my buttercups."

He stops his swing, looks around, sees no one, and prepares to hit again. "Please don't hurt my buttercups."

He stops again, looks up and sees a beautiful woman approaching. "I am mother nature," she says. "If you promise not to harm my buttercups, I can guarantee you an abundant supply of butter for the rest of your life."

Harry thinks about this and says, "Where you last week when I hit my ball into the pussywillows?"

Wife & Mistress

I’ll go and ask if we can go through,” said Max to Jerry.

The two golfers had been concerned for some time at the snail-like progress of two women, originally some holes ahead and now just in front of them on the ninth fairway. Max returned after only a few paces towards the ladies.

“Jerry, this is very embarrassing, but would you mind going. That’s my wife up ahead and she’s playing with my mistress.”

Jerry returned having got no further forward than Max. “I say,” he said, “what a coincidence.”

Red faced lady golfer

The lady golfer was a determined, if not very proficient player. At each swipe she made at the ball earth flew in all directions.

“Gracious me,” she exclaimed red-faced to her caddie, “the worms will think there’s an earthquake.”

“I don’t know,” replied the caddie, “the worms round here are very clever. I’ll bet most of them are hiding underneath the ball for safety.”

A Misdirected Shot

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed-off and watched in horror as the ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She then explained that she was a physical therapist and offered to help ease his “pain.”

Please allow me to help, I am a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d just allow me!” She told him earnestly. “Ummph, oooh, nnnoo, I’ll be alright…I’ll be fine in a few minutes,” he replied as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.

The woman takes it upon herself to begin to “ease his pain”. She began to massage his groin. After a few moments she asked, “does that feel better?” The man looked up at her and replied, “yes, that feels pretty good … but my thumb still hurts like hell!”